A popular question from potential future guests is 'do you have air conditioning?', and up until now we've always replied to say that - frankly - Paris is not a tropical jungle and that air conditioning is both unnecessary and bad for the planet. But this week was just nonsense hot. So we finally caved in and bought a fan.
But not any old fan. We've always tried to make the Great Apartment something a little special, so we decided to go for the ridiculously expensive but actually quite smart Dyson air multiplier (i.e. it's a fan).
I have to say, there's a lot of laughable marketing bullshit going on around this product that I really don't buy into. Take, for example, the "uncomfortable buffeting" that comes from ordinary fans. You know? That uncomfortable buffeting that people are always complaining about when they're hot and the fan's on. "Can someone please stop that buffeting?" That's what everyone says.
A fearsome representation of a severe case of buffeting. Very, very nasty. Potentially life-threatening. Look at those huge icy blocks of, er, buffet that will just buffet and buffet you UNTIL YOU HAVE A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN.
Nor am I convinced about the air being sped up 15 times faster by a combination of its magical motor thing and a 1.3mm slot (don't ask). But hey, it looks pretty amazing, and the plug is the same colour as our sockets. That's gotta be fate, right?
The thing that will surprise most people (for a limited amount of time, obviously) is that there are no blades to hack the ends of your fingers off, so it's pretty darn safe to use and easy to clean (at least I agree with that part of the spiel). Of course, I had to try it out for you, so here's my really thrilling film of me turning it on. And watching it move. And putting my hand in it.
My favourite part of all the techno-jargon on the box is this gem:
"Illuminated start/stop button so you can use it in the dark". They've though of everything! All those fans we had before just stopped working at sundown. Genius.
Anyway, forget all the hype and just pleasure yourself with the non buffeting, fifteen times blowier-ness of it. Just don't break it OK? ;-)
Oh, and don't watch this video report from Which UK that basically says it does the same thing as a fan that costs ten times less. Ouch!